Invite the “yes” (not the “no”)

In working with my career coach, I realized that I make it easy for people to say no to me when I ask for something. I give them every opportunity. I assume it’s coming. I almost encourage it.

For example, I recently caught myself adding this onto the end of a message asking for help: “If you’d rather not, that’s totally fine, just thought I’d check! No pressure at all. And feel free to ignore this message, no hard feelings.”

The heck is that about? It sounds like I want them to say no. Once again, my desire to be liked is getting in the way of my ability to get stuff done.

So now I’m trying to invite a “yes” response, and stop giving easy outs. More uncomfortable, but more effective.