The stream of little realizations

The hardest thing about death is the grammar, the tense, the fact that she won’t be angry when she sees that he’s bought a new sofa without consulting her first. She won’t be anything. She isn’t on her way home. She was.

Fredrick Backman, Anxious People

When someone I love dies, the realizations start trickling in. No wait, I can’t text them about that interesting thing that happened to me today. No wait, I can’t ask them if they remember that funny song from 3 years ago.

With the people who were everywhere in my life, the stream of little realizations seems endless. Time heals all wounds, but time sure takes its time. Watching my wife wade through that stream has been hard, but the worst is over when it dries up.