Feelings aren’t all for feeling

I just finished reading Untamed. It makes a big deal about feeling all the things. Quote:

You’re not doing life wrong; you’re doing it right. If there’s any secret you’re missing, it’s that doing it right is just really hard. Feeling all your feelings is hard, but that’s what they’re for. Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even the hard ones. The secret is that you’re doing it right, and that doing it right hurts sometimes.


That day, I began returning to myself when a kind woman revealed to me that being fully human is not about feeling happy, it’s about feeling everything. From that day forward, I began to practice feeling it all. I began to insist upon my right and responsibility to feel it all, even when taking the time and energy for feeling made me a little less efficient, a little less convenient, a little less pleasant.

Hard disagree. Just because an emotion exists doesn’t mean it deserves respect. Not all emotions are useful. Some are downright destructive. And we can and should choose which ones we want to feel. In fact, that’s what Stoicism is all about.

Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.

Marcus Aurelius

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