The myth of the steadfast leader

There are three things many leaders believe:

1. Vulnerability and honesty are good for a team.
2. As a leader, I should model the behavior I want to see.
3. It’s important for leaders to be steadfast and unflappable.

These three things are in conflict. If a leader gets stressed, then they can’t model vulnerability and honesty while also appearing unflappable. They’d be lying.

False unflappability is garbage. Don’t hide your feelings from your team while asking them to be honest about theirs. If you’re feeling flapped, say that.